Almost every woman I know grew up dreaming of what her wedding day, family, and general life as a wife and a mother would look like, complete with a timeline, guest list, and general theme with associated decor.  And almost every woman I know also had those plans shattered.  I don’t mean that in a sad and devastating way; I really mean it in an “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans” kind of way.

In my case, the plans were derailed early due to my desire to be a doctor from the time I was old enough to understand that a doctor was a healer.  What other job could anyone possibly want to do? Wasn’t this the ultimate? From early childhood, EVERYTHING became about an intense focus on getting the grades and exposure to get to the goal of being an MD.  There was no time to be worried about boys and fashion trends and being popular.  Was that gonna get me the ‘Doctor’ title?  And even after college when I needed to be planning for the predetermined goal of age 25 for marriage and having children, I couldn’t take any prospects seriously because ‘Mrs’ didn’t have the same ring to it as ‘Dr’.

And so, I was blessed and fortunate to have a village of my family (see previous posts on my parents & grandfather), friends, and supportive schools (#HBCUpride! #FiskTaughtMe/#MeharryMade) and training institutions (including Univ. of Cincinnati/Cincy Children’s) to get me to my long-awaited position as a physician.  However, once I got there, I realized that one could be a physician and also pursue other interests and talents!  Along the way to Physicianhood, I learned that there were these cool jobs like urban planning, community organizing, and child life specialization that would have offered fascinating career paths, as well. And in my career as a physician, I have discovered that the beautiful thing about Medicine is that there is so much learning and rediscovering that can be done continuously; it is truly a career that never gets boring. However, I have also learned that it is possible to nurture interests beyond medicine, like supporting the charitable work of nonprofits, developing event-planning skills, and even pursuing transient interests such as jewelry-making and scrapbooking.  Much like I learned that I can be a good wife, mother, and doctor, I have learned that following these interests never detracts from, but actually reinforces my calling and my heart for healthcare and advocacy for vulnerable populations.

But now that I am a truly ‘experienced’ physician, the coolest discovery I have had is that I am very much not alone in my diversity of interest in areas beyond medicine!  I am referencing a group of docs that has become a part of my trusted village – my McStuffins Mommies!  Just who are these wonderful women? These are my fellow women who tell our children, tongues-in-cheek, that we went to med school with Doc McStuffins, the character created by Disney that finally gave a shout-out to the fact that doctors do, indeed, come in a demographic of black females.  Why is this important, you might ask?  Because black female physicians make up less than 2% of the physician workforce in the US.  There aren’t that many of us, so there are not a great deal of people who can relate to similar and shared experiences of being black medicine women in America. So when there was a group that connected with Disney and Doc Mcstuffins (Hi, Artemis!), we were able to come together to share common experiences in many different areas, including being black female doc mommies!

This brings me to my recent summer vacation, cruising with my McStuffins Mommy friends and our families, courtesy of my med school friend, Valerie Berry (check out her website at valsdreamtravel.com and send her an email to plan a spectacular vacay.) Valerie is one such McStuffins Mommy and physician-turned-travel planner offering a pleasant and personalized travel experience. While prepping and enjoying this Disney Dream cruise, not only did I discover that my friend Valerie’s interests and talents extend far beyond medicine, I discovered that my other McStuffins Mommies had these same abilities!  Among us are extraordinary primary care and specialist docs, many of whom are married to other healthcare professionals (mention to my #MeharryMade husband) and are juggling motherhood, marriage/relationships, busy clinic/hospital/executive shifts.  These fierce women are mothers, aunties, grandmothers, and also entrepreneurs, authors, speakers, and general movers and shakers!  In our group alone, our trip of over 50 docs and family members was coordinated by a doc mommy, we wore shirts designed by our McStuffins Mommy and group creator, we exercised on the ship with our personal trainer/holistic medicine doc mommy, and enjoyed decorative cookies in our gift package from our fellow McStuffins Mommy.  The plethora of talents that emanates from this group of women has truly humbled me, and I am so proud to be able to say that I am a part of the McStuffins Mommies!

How pleased am I that I not only have met this group of women who can share advice about daycare, Kumon, implicit bias, health disparities, gender inequity in pay, and grueling residency training, but also about who to use as a publisher, the best places to travel for an anniversary trip, and how to best address a crowd about overcoming childhood trauma?  I am forever grateful for my fellow McStuffins Mommies who understand that we are not monolithic, yet we are a unique minority and few others can understand our shared experience of being black female physicians in (and in some cases, beyond) America! What I have learned years beyond my path to Medicine on this recent summer vacation was so very enlightening that I have to shout from the rooftops that not only are we #WomeninMedicine, we are #BlackWomeninMedicine, and we are also far #MorethanMedicine!